The only thing that saddens me,
is that you're not by, my side.
I can buy anything in this world to keep me satisfied,
but it only works for so long.
Then it just kills me to know that you're not here with me
to talk to,
to laugh with,
to enpower me,
and to know that everything will be ok.
You made me feel on top of the world,
that there was nothing to worry about,
that we ruled and everything was how we wanted it.
Now I feel lost, lonely, and powerless.
Small, sad, and afraid in this place.
I just want to look up and see you.
I need your hand to lift me when I fall.
I crave your encouragement and your soft hand in mine.
Sitting by your side
made my feelings dance inside.
What did it take to
say those 3 words to me everytime?
Was it easy?
Did you struggle?
Was it fine
to call you mine?
Or was it wishf u l l t h i n k i n g?
The love you gave me
was enough to save me.
You broke my heart.
Just look at what you t o r e apart.
But it's better when I bleed for you.
My thought strangle me,
my feelings consume.
I wanted everything to be right
but it was too late to fight.
As she lays next to her lover,
listening to him breathe
and whatching him sleep so peacefully,
She asks herself why she's denying her true thoughts
that are hidden deep deep down inside.
She wants to get up and walk away.
Like they never knew each other at all;
never fallen in love.
Because sooner or later,
this beautiful beginning will become a,
tragic ending.
But she doesn't know what he's thinking
or when it was going to come crumbling down.
Night after night, watching and listening to him,
denying thought after thought,
waiting for it to end...
And one final day,
he comes to her and says,
"It's over baby."
She's o
She stormed into the room, gun in hand.
This time she caught him.
He was with the other girl.
She shoved the girl aside and she ran out the door,
pinned him down,
and forced the barrel of the gun into his mouth.
And he started laughing.
Her courage dropped.
She still stood her ground,
but her hands were trembling and her heart was beating a mile a minute.
She always felt weak around him,
he just had the influence.
She was really going to shoot him,
but he changes the stakes.
When he was finished laughing,
he unexpectedly grabbed the gun,
put her arms behind her back,
and held the gun to the back of her head.
She coul
Christmas used to be a happy time.
Full of smiles, joy, and laughter.
But now going to bed on Christmas Eve and dreading the morning to come.
The smiles, joy, and laughter have been destroyed,
Destroyed, by one person and a couple of words.
"Love" isn't and wasn't suppose to ruin lives or, Christmas for that matter.
Christmas is suppose to be full of excitement and wonder.
Not thoughts about suicide
and comtemplating how the hell you're going to leave this life and when.
Christmas, you're suppose to be happy to see family.
Not make excuses to stay home and be alone because of depression.
Christmas was something to look forward to.
As she uses all for her strength
to get back on her feet,
he strickes her again.
Each and everytime is more painful then the last.
She thought she was going with him
for a pleasent weekend alone together.
They were alone alright,
but it wasn't very pleasent.
At least for her it wasn't.
She's lying on the floor
and he's screaming at her to get back up,
only to hit again;
to bruise her and make her hurt.
She looks up at him from the floor
and there's a small patch of light
clinging to her from a tiny makeshift window.
Her make-up is smeared from crying.
She looks from her beautiful bright blue eyes int his dark brown angry
She sits in her dark room
absorbed in her own thoughts.
Nothing can break her trance.
She can't hear her parents begging and screaming
to her from the other side of the locked door.
The only two things on her mind are,
Him.
Death.
She thinks about the memories
and screams them out when they come to her.
"Why did you do this to me!?!"
"You hurt me so bad!!!"
She falls to the floor in anger and rage.
She did everything to make him happy,
but it wasn't good enough for him.
Nothing was.
She crawled to her closet.
Searched frantically for the gun her friend gave her.
She grabbed it and sat on her bed.
She ran her fingers ov
"You'll do this if you really love me."
he really had power over her
because whenever he said that,
she'd do what he wanted;
this time it was different.
they were both 16 and in love.
her life was good. His, wasn't.
he was always cutting class, getting high, and partying too much.
but there was still something she loved about him.
"You know I love you, but I just don't know about this."
"You would know if you REALLY loved me."
He just had a huge fight with his parents.
one of the more violent ones.
his mother was telling him how worthless he was
and his drunken father just started beating on him
and he just couldn't take it an
I Thought You Loved Me... by skatergurl16, literature
Literature
I Thought You Loved Me...
After I called and told you,
you rushed right over.
You stormed into my bedroom
and just glared at me.
I don't know why you didn't comfort me.
I was in pain and you didn't even speak.
Tears started to crawl down my face
and you asked me,
"let me see it."
I looked up at you with so much sorrow in my eyes
and then i slowly pulled my
left shirt sleeve up to reveal my
long, deep, bloody cut.
Then you grabbed my arm forcefully
and pushed down on my cut with your fingers.
I screamed and just stared at you.
"see, all you get is pain from this"
I pushed your hand off my arm
and pulled my sleeve back down to cover it.
"are there
im freezing in this skin
i need to feel warmth
a flame
a burn
will i ever be warm again?
i need something to wake me
give me some restlessness
some agitation
will i ever be awake again?
im too comfortable
i need something to make me hurt
something torturing
will i ever be uncomfortable again?
im too alive
i need something to dull me
to make me voiceless
to keep everything confidential and secretive
will i ever be silent again?
im actually crying and screaming inside
just tearing to try and get out
it feels like im in a huge crowded room
and im screaming at the top of my lungs
and no one evern notices me
i can't take it
Remember me for the times i hurt you.
Not for the times we were happy.
Take this blade to my wrist.
help me end what makes me ugly and weak.
i'm swimming in the pools of my mind,
and i cant get out
so just leave me here
i have shut myself out from any help
my heart is already black and cold
scars and blood cover my entire worthless body
all the pain,yelling,& thoughts have overcome me
i'm not worth it
so please tell me im not wanted
save yourself from me
and leave me here for dead. . .
i did it, again.
i frightened him, i made him upset, again.
he didn't speak to me after i told him.
but i didn't expect him to say anything,
i knew what he was feeling and he knew what i was feeling.
everything was on pause.
we were the only ones in the world at time.
it was quiet between us.
the only sound was my tears hitting his steady shoulder
as i stared quietly at the ground.
i couldn't bear to look in his eyes.
i knew i made him very sad.
all the wonderful events of the evening
crashed down around us,
just because of me.
why do i keep doing this to him?
it saddens me to know that i hurt him.
the one he loves, me, i hur
he couldn't believe his eyes when he walled past the cafe.
that was his girl with another guy.
he stopped on the other side of the street to gaze at them.
she leaned in to kiss the other guy on the lips.
her eyes shimmering as she stared into his.
her smile even brighter then he remembered it to be.
this was torture for him.
seeing his lover with another guy.
as she was about to look out the window
and be able to see him,
he left the site of her
before she could see him.
he walked along so furious
he walked along so heart-broken,
so upset.
as he took his last glance of her and continued onward.
he thought of all the perfect mo
how is that
you're always there for me
i don't know how you love me so much
but i know you do, i just feel it somehow
and i love you equally,
but i always wonder how you deal with me.
how you can handle the words i speak to you
when i tell you i cut,
and i just break down and cry.
how is that?
i see you and you are so strong,
you can handle things that i can't.
but how is that?
you are so perfect when i look in to your eyes
you have no flaws, no faults to you
how is that?
why does it have to matter?
if you're not perfect
you're shunned from the world.
not the right clothes, self-mutilator, not the right make-up
anything out of the ordinary
and you are
O U T
you don't fit, they tell you
change yourself, is what they want
be something you're not, is the key
but no, that is not the key.
you gotta break free from these people
be who you are
be what you wanna be
don't give a fuck about what others say
ignore their ways of hurting you,
but give them respect you you don't lower
yourself to their standards.
find people who like you for who you are
cuz it's your life and you
can do whatever the fuck
when i close my eyes
everything goes terribly wrong
i see things no one else see's
i can see what everyone's worst nightmare is. i saw what happened that night.
i see death.
it has now consumed me,
death has taken over,
everything.
after that night that i killed for the first time.
nothing has been the same.
i took a knife and cut their wrists,
long, deep, and hard.
then i tore viciously at their ribs 'til they were exposed and bleeding.
i made them feel death.
i made them bleed to death. suffocate.
then i left them there, walking away laughing, because i saw your face on their body.
i left you cold, dead, bloody, and all alon
Don't Leave Me Tonight... by skatergurl16, literature
Literature
Don't Leave Me Tonight...
why does it have to be like this?
always hiding it
always thinking about it
it never leaves, it always hangs around
just to be bothersome
just to be confusing, annoying, and painful
it causes so many emotions
and can also make you feel nothing, no emotion
it, makes you feel numb
but it can be scary
trying to stop
then looking ahead without it
you don't want it to stay
you don't want it to leave
it's a lose lose situation.
if it stays your life could be damaged
if it stays your life could be damaged
why do we have to deal with it
and some people don't even encounter it?
if they don't they are so lucky
it becomes an addictio
Please. Don't Come Back. by skatergurl16, literature
Literature
Please. Don't Come Back.
i think i feel it again
its coming back for me
it wants me, again
it just won't give up
no matter how many times i tell it "no"
it just doesn't listen.
i can sense its presence
and i think i need it, now
3 weeks already
i passed my break down point
by not by a couple days
do you remember what happened last time i got this far?
i passed the 3 week mark.
i broke down
and did it twice
one on my wrist.
10 on my hip.
it equals out to be 11.
but you didn't know that.
i did not tell you.
im sorry.
i just couldn't.
and here we are once again
at this "3 week" mark
that i have already gotten over.
can you believe that?
i did
Perfect, Love, and Forever? by skatergurl16, literature
Literature
Perfect, Love, and Forever?
forever.
that's what is wanted.
something to last eternity would be,
perfect.
forever = perfect
that is what's wanted.
love + forever = perfect
perfect love forever
everyone longs to have
to feel it.
to recieve it.
perfect love forever = happiness
or so, is wanted...
your "perfect love forever"
has to be real
it has to be true
it has to be cared for,
protected.
love needs to be sheltered, but free
love needs to be fun, but serious
love needs to be close, but also apart
love is enough incentive to wake up in the morning
love is motivation to fall asleep at night
love is golden and pure
but love can be black and tainte
The only thing that saddens me,
is that you're not by, my side.
I can buy anything in this world to keep me satisfied,
but it only works for so long.
Then it just kills me to know that you're not here with me
to talk to,
to laugh with,
to enpower me,
and to know that everything will be ok.
You made me feel on top of the world,
that there was nothing to worry about,
that we ruled and everything was how we wanted it.
Now I feel lost, lonely, and powerless.
Small, sad, and afraid in this place.
I just want to look up and see you.
I need your hand to lift me when I fall.
I crave your encouragement and your soft hand in mine.
Current Residence: Home Favourite genre of music: emo, screamo, hard rock, metal, punk, alternative rock, etc... MP3 player of choice: Ipod touch Shell of choice: Candy Apple Red; as in the shells of my drums... Wallpaper of choice: Not floral. Favourite cartoon character: Jack Skellington Personal Quote: ...no joke...
Favourite Visual Artist
Tim Burton
Favourite Movies
Good ones
Favourite Bands / Musical Artists
Pink Spiders, A.F.I, Killswitch Engage, Avenged Sevenfold, Chiodos, As I Lay Dying, It Dies Today,